5.06.2007

Al Qaeda Netflix Strikes Again

Seems like it's been a while since we got our last videotape from al Qaeda. Fortunately, we've got a new one just in time for the start of bikini season. This edition contains a threat (!) from some crazy religious fundamentalist. (The series is getting a little stale IMO.)

OBL is nowhere to be seen in the video, nor do we see his rack of guns. This video features Ayman al Zawahiri, Al Qaeda's Number Two Man. (Personally, I think we should call him Number One just like we did with Commander Riker on Star Trek:TNG.)

So, what's up with al Zawahiri? He doesn't have anything to say about Paris' jail sentence, but that's understandable since this video was made a couple weeks ago. Number One wants to talk a little about the Democrat's plan to set a timetable for withdrawal from Iraq. A al Z doesn't like this plan at all. He pleads with Bush to keep our troops in Iraq so they will be practice targets for Al Qaeda. In fact, he says he wants to kill over 200,000 US troops. We can only take that to mean that al Qaeda wants Bush to double-down and surge even more of our resources into Iraq.

The Republicans will surely contemplate this and agree to the proposal. We can take glance over at the poor confused ho at Atlas Shrugged for proof. (Don't name your blog for a Libertarian book and then advocate for anti-Libertarian values, moron.)

Here's the headline as from Ms. AS:
Al Qaeda Wants More US Blood And the Democrat Pussies say whaaaaa

So, I guess the ultra-right wing want to give more US blood to AQ. It's really hard to keep up with these people, because I thought they'd want US soldiers to keep their blood.
Continuing Ms. ASshat's post:
Someone explain it to me again why the Democrats want to surrender the fate of our great nation to the jihad?

Which nation is she talking about? Why don't these people move to Iraq if they love it so much? Does she think "the jihad" only exists in Iraq? We could wipe that country off the face of the planet and "the jihad" would still be going strong. Iraq is just a distraction.

Let's recap:

Al Qaeda: Please don't leave Iraq. We'd prefer to have US soldiers around for target practice.

Bush: I'LL NEVER LEAVE IRAQ!!!!!

Al Qaeda: Cool. Would you mind sending more troops because we want to kill at least 200,000 US soldiers.

China: Yeah, we'd kinda like to see you spend more money in Iraq, too.

Bush: You support more surge? Finally, somebody agrees with me.

Republicans: Hey! Some of us are still delusional enough to agree with you! General Petraeus is a stud! You should send more troops!

Al Qaeda: Yeah, but only send those troops to Iraq. And please stay out of Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, and Saudi Arabia.

Bush: Don't worry. I probably can't afford to send resources there. Our credit's a little maxed right now.

China: Good.

Russia: Awesome.

Venezuela: Works for us, too.

Al Qaeda: Bush, you're the best thing that ever happened to us.

Bush: Oh, stop! I'm blushing.

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